I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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