shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
