we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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