i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
