Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I could fuck to npr.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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