Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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