Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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