What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
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