Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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