so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
