I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
