You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
