Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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