i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
