Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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