You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
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