So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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