on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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