It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
