My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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