you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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