the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
