So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
