I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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