Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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