Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
