I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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