I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
