'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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