I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I love you.
Bad choice
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
