I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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