I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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