That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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