Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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