85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
