New low: just hacked my moms facebook
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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