is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
