i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize