Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
