I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
