it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Randomize
