My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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