we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I could fuck to npr.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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