I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
