Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
