no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
