She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
