that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
