We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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