Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
